Here at Balitello we love interacting with our supporters and learning from their life experiences. Hearing others stories can ultimately open our minds to think in different ways. 'The Turn-Style' blog will feature guest writers to speak about different experiences throughout their business careers that have enabled them to grow into a stronger person. We our glad to welcome Marc Schechter to speak about his job relocation.
A Man Without A Plan: How to deal with relocation
I didn’t simply relocate, I jumped ship. I went cold turkey from the only life I ever knew in NYC and moved west. I had a good job, friends, family, and a great girlfriend. I was doing stand up comedy most nights. Oh and don’t even get me started on the bagels in NYC. Life was good. What I didn’t realize though is that I was just enjoying the ride. I was too comfortable. I was ready to see and do more, but of course I had no plan. I tend to take life as it comes at me. There are many things that I’ve never done before, but I try not to let that stop me from pushing forward. Relocating was one of them. I embarked on this new journey without much planning or thought, moving to Seattle hasn’t been easy.
I knew the basics. I needed a job ASAP, I needed a place, and I wanted to make new friends. Thankfully, finding a new job was easier than I thought. Finding a new place was super easy (Just Google it!). Trying to make new friends was not. I met new people at work who were fun and cool, but everyone had their own life, everyone had their pre established friend circle. I might as well have been a cybernetic organism sent back in time to save mankind, that’s the kind of reception I got in Seattle. No one knew me, no one cared, they had their comfortable life already settled. That’s when it dawned on me. I needed to TRY! OMG NO. That’s not me I thought. I am more easy going. I let things happen organically. I just go with the flow, super cool guy style. That’s not how it works when you’re an unknown quantity in a new city. You have to try. Ugh.
Should I do meet-ups? Maybe organized group bike rides. What about speed friending for bros? All those options were pretty lame to me, but I had to do something. I ended up taking the lazy road, and regretting it. I met a guy through my girlfriend’s friend, lets call him Theo. Theo and I hung out once. It was a decent time, but I could tell he wasn’t going to be my friend, we simply didn’t click. For a while I felt alone but I knew I had to keep trying.
After a few months I realized what about my new coworkers? We all laughed and kicked it in the office, what was stopping me from entering the friend zone (the good one not the bad one). I decided to suck it up, and walk that tightrope. I didn’t want to come off desperate, but I knew I had to insert myself and be outgoing at work. It took effort on my part (so not super cool guy style), but it worked out. I started planning friday happy hours, inviting friends who lived close by to try restaurants with me after work. Asking people who I began to get close with to come see me do comedy. People slowly but surely warmed up to me beyond talking at the water cooler. Now I have some real bros!
My journey is only in it’s infancy. It’s been hard and lonely at times, but I wouldn’t change any of it. The struggle is necessary, and I’m a different person than I was five months ago. I know that it’s easy to feel scared and default to not trying at all. Remember this though, if you find yourself in a situation like mine, if you don’t try at all you’ll never know. If you don’t take that risk you will fail 100% of the time. Here I am, paving a new path in a new city 2877 miles away from home. All I’ve got is confidence in who I am and the will to try.
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.” - Paulo Coelho
Good Luck out there…